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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26257516">i can't help but wonder... it's all too much for me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/delinquents/pseuds/delinquents'>delinquents</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Song Inspired - SKAM Italia [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SKAM (Italy)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a Billie Eilish Song, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, SKAM, SKAM Season 3, Skam Italy - Freeform, Song Lyrics, incantava - Freeform, skam italia - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:49:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,477</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26257516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/delinquents/pseuds/delinquents</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ele doesn't like things that confuse her. Edoardo Incanti confuses her.</p><p>fic no.5 of the song series brought to you by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ0iq10ULNA">Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish</a></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edoardo Incanti/Eleonora Sava</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Song Inspired - SKAM Italia [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901491</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i can't help but wonder... it's all too much for me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Don't come back, it won't end well</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I wish you'd tell me to</em>
</p><p>Ele doesn't like things that confuse her.</p><p>They distract her from other tasks, consume her whole day with endless ideas on how to <em>fix </em>them that immediately get tossed to the side, make her kind of irrationally angry about the whole ordeal until she physically can't stand it. It's such a naive, childish way to live, she knows that, but when something doesn't make sense to her it just derails her entire day, derails her until she manages to figure it out. </p><p>Edoardo Incanti confuses her. </p><p>And Edoardo Incanti is not a problem that needs fixing. He's his own person, with secrets and feelings and <em>a brother</em>, apparently. A brother who Edoardo won't let her meet, not properly, and who's appearance makes him turn into that some stone-cold fuckboy she met a year ago, who'd told her to leave and then didn't give any sort of explanation. It had taken her a little under thirty seconds to pack her stuff up, in which he didn't look at her even <em>once</em> (she's gotten so used to feeling when his eyes on her that now he'd rather study that god-awful painting on the wall than her, it's just as nerve-wracking), and so she lets the door slam after her purely as a means to show how pissed off she is.</p><p>She's more of a silent, brooding type, and her last outburst a few weeks ago had led to a rather spectacular kiss (in the rain, no less, because Edoardo's such a cliche) but this outburst is just met with a silence that stands still, and the entire bus ride home she's tapping her foot obnoxiously against the floor and muttering under her breath. </p><p>She knows his family life isn't exactly some stellar monument he wants to show off, and she knows this because she had no idea anything had even happened to his mother until Silvia told the girls about it. Ele can only guess that Edoardo lives alone, if the teenage-bachelor-pad-interior he's adopted says anything, so his dad probably isn't in the picture too often, either. </p><p>And she can understand not wanting to broadcast that. Both of her parents may still be alive and well, but with the way, they seem to forget to be the first to call on birthdays or Christmas you could only guess that she and Filo weren't their biological children. Ele understands feeling like the only one, but she's had Filo this entire time and there isn't an ounce of her that understands why Edoardo would hide his brother like that.</p><p>"What's made you mad, Spider?" Filo's there, which she hadn't expected, and she regrets letting the door slam after her because now he has <em>questions</em> and she's supposed to come up answers.</p><p>"Just... tough assignment," She can't come up with answers, because then she has to admit that she's seen Edo since their 'date' when she got back. She'll have to admit that, yes, it was just to save Silvia from everything the first time, but now it's so much more and yes, he may be an egotistical fuckboy who can't keep his mouth shut, but he's <em>very </em>good at kissing and Ele's been spending the past three weeks with his tongue down her throat.</p><p>And she can't say that to her brother, who knows all of her friends, who loves all of her friends, without having to explain that Silvia doesn't know and she won't ever know because apparently Ele's been wrong about everything so far.</p><p>She'd <em>thought</em> they were a little past that 'friend' stage - jumped right over it because she doesn't tease her friends the same way she teases him, and she sure as hell doesn't let her <em>friends</em> trail their mouths down her neck in the slow way he likes to. She'd <em>assumed</em> that they were on the same page, but it turns out she's chapters ahead of him.</p><p>She'd been under the impression that, soon, she'll have to talk to Silvia. That she'll have to sit down with her and try to figure out how to say that all of those things she said were true, at the time, but so completely wrong now. </p><p>And the sad - pathetic, pitiful, <em>deplorable</em> - thing is she knows she's still going to have to. Ele has to tell Silvia - her <em>friend </em>- that she'd been sneaking around the guy she <em>knows </em>Silvia has a crush on, that she'd fallen so helplessly for him in the way she'd teased Silvia about, and it turns out that, in a sense, she <em>was </em>right. </p><p>Filo takes on the pout he always does when she has a tough day at school and pulls her into a hug she was unaware she needs. His cologne is comforting, a familiar scent from when he'd drag her out of bed at midnight to play in the snow and make blanket forts in the living room, and she buries her nose into his shoulder in a feeble attempt to show much she loves him. </p><p>Filo can be annoying at times. They'll scream and shout at each other, and he's more immature than he is grown-up at times, but Ele wouldn't change her brother for the world. His openness is refreshing and the idea of hiding him away, of no one knowing there's another Sava walking the streets, makes her heart clench and her throat tighten. </p><p>"Filo?" Her brother squeezes her shoulders a little, telling her yes without using words, "Can we get ice cream?"</p><p>"Pistachio?"</p><p>"Yes, please."</p><p>Her brother knows these things. He knows that her favourite ice cream flavour used to be Blue Moon, like Edoardo had guessed, but she'd found a nail in it once when she was twelve and can't fathom the idea of trying it again. He knows that her feet haven't grown in two years and that her favourite shoes are those deep brown ankle boots he got her for Christmas when she was fifteen - her first pair of heels, albeit not very high, and he'd had to steady her the first few times she wore them down the stairs because she looked like Bambi on ice. Filo knows what the spider tattoo means on her arm, and he knows about that time she had appendicitis because she'd screamed insults at him when she got back from the hospital. </p><p>Filo knows what happened with that last boy, and how much it had hurt her, and she doesn't want him to know that Edoardo can cause so much more pain than that last one ever could. </p><p>Filo doesn't want to drive, which irritates her more than it should considering he's a reckless driver at the best of times, so they walk two blocks to the nearest cafe. It's a cosy corner shop, one that's never done her wrong, and she practically melts into the booth. Her mood's been lifted slightly once she spots the dessert menu, which is obviously the same time her phone buzzes obnoxiously loud on the table. </p><p>It's from Edoardo, just a simple <em>can I come over and explain? </em>and she curls her fingers around her phone so tightly the tips around her nails turn white with the effort. </p><p>"Everything okay?" Filo raises an eyebrow at her effort to snap her phone with one hand, and it takes all of her effort to unclench her fist.</p><p><em>No, </em>she's thinking, because she deserves more than a six-word text without an apology. He wants to apologise, at the very least, but he's barely given her two hours to process what happened in the space of five minutes, and she slams her phone face-down on the seat next to her.</p><p>"Teacher pushed up the deadline," She lies, hoping that if Filo doesn't buy it he'll at least let it slide, "What are you going to get?"</p><p>Ice cream ends up being a terrible decision because Edoardo had only left that stupid couch to go get her stupid ice cream, and so her bad mood persists the whole weekend. Filo learned pretty quickly after she started stabbing her ice cream to give her some space, so she doesn't see him as she leaves for school Monday morning. </p><p>Eva's waiting for her on their windowsill, as expected, and looks just as rough as Ele feels. </p><p>"Were you studying all weekend, too?" There are dark circles under Eva's eyes, and it looks like her bottom lip has been chewed raw, a habit Ele knows comes out for Eva full force when she's stressing. </p><p>And <em>of course,</em> Eva would presume she's been studying. The girls' group chat has been as active as ever this weekend, but Ele had just turned her phone on silent and buried it under a mound of cushions on the couch so she couldn't hear. She'd wanted to wallow in pity over that <em>stupid </em>text, and in the process of her self-thrown pity party had completely forgotten about their Physics test fourth period. </p><p>"Yeah," Ele lies, apparently pretty good at it now, and falls onto the windowsill next to Eva, "But I can't remember anything."</p><p>"Join the club," Eva grins, resting her head against Ele's shoulder and sighing, "We should just marry rich guys and drop out of school."</p><p>"Boys are stupid," Ele mutters, and Eva snorts with a nod. And Eva has that whole thing with Fede and Giovanni going on right now so she, thankfully, doesn't read too much into Ele's bitterness. </p><p>"Do you think Sana will lend us her flashcards?" Eva sighs, "I really can't fail this test."</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Retrace my lips</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Erase your touch</em>
</p><p>He has this annoying habit of making her eyelashes flutter when he strokes her cheek, and he's doing it on purpose now. He has to be. </p><p>It's Ele's fault, really. She let Edoardo get too close when she's supposed to be mad at him, but she'd been trying to stand her ground and honestly that tactic has never worked for anyone <em>ever</em>. </p><p>And<em> he confuses her</em>. The last time she'd seen him he was all tense jawed, hard eyes, looking her right in the eye with nothing behind his. He had looked at her like they were strangers - or, at best, like she was one of those boys his group hate so much - and Ele thinks he still doesn't know just how much that had hurt.</p><p>Now, though, he's all soft edges and light caresses again, like he was before his brother showed up, whispering that <em>yes, </em>she <em>is his girlfriend </em>and other things she doesn't hear once his fingers touch her cheek. He looks nice in that sweater, she decides, and he should wear dark wool more often because he looks so soft and warm in it. His jeans are soft, too, in a worn-in-denim kind of way, and he shuffles a little closer when she brings her left hand up to loop her index finger around his belt. </p><p>He's wearing a new cologne today - there's a vague memory of him driving her home one night and complaining that his bottle is nearly empty but he can't find a shop that sells it and is never home enough to wait for a delivery - which smells like vanilla and pine and a hint of coffee, which she doesn't normally like but it blends so nicely with whatever shampoo Edo uses too. </p><p>He smiles at her so prettily when he walks back into the door frame, and it's the same pretty smile she gets when she ducks into his car Friday night, annoyed once again. </p><p>"Is this how it's going to be," He murmurs against her temple, the tears still slipping down her cheeks slightly, and she swears there's a hitch in his voice as he jokes, "You all annoyed about something I do? Me doing something stupid?"</p><p>"You didn't do anything stupid," Ele inhales, trying to keep it even but knows when his thumb strokes at the back of her scalp that she's failed miserably, "Families are stupid."</p><p>He chuckles, "Families are so stupid."</p><p>He takes her back to the dock, but they find a bench just before concrete turns into wood instead of going any further. His car had been warm and safe, but the harsh wind from the water highlights that she'd done a half-assed job at wiping away the tears from her skin. The wind clings to the wetness of her cheeks and it makes her shiver, but her hands are wrapped up in his against her stomach and she doesn't want to move away from his chest to wipe her face again.</p><p>"You confuse me," She says, instead, watching as he stretches his legs across the empty space on the bench next to them. Edoardo crosses one ankle of the other, but his knees fall apart as Ele copies him, her legs over his. His thighs are warm on either side of her hips, and the way his mouth brushes against her neck with every breath feels intoxicating. </p><p>"How so?" He whispers, nose cold as he dips to press a light kiss to the curve of her shoulder. His jacket sleeves are cold against her wrists but his fingers are stupidly warm between hers, a comforting contrast that takes absolutely nothing from the way he grins around her skin when he has to ask her again.</p><p>"I don't know," She whispers, wanting to give him an answer but coming up with none. She doesn't know much about him, just little things she's picked up on that she knows he probably isn't aware of, but she knows that she will <em>never </em>fully understand him. When she says this to him he pauses, lifting his mouth off of her to look her in the eye.</p><p>"You know me."</p><p>Ele huffs and buries further into his chest, her face way too cold, "I know bits about you - but that's not what I'm trying to say. You confuse me and I'll never know why, or how to figure you out. You confuse me."</p><p>"Oh," He says blankly, squeezing her fingers between his and tucking her head under his chin, "Well, you confuse me, too."</p><p>It's still too cold and they don't move from that bench for another half hour, but she learns that his favourite ice cream flavour is Rocky Road, his favourite shoes are his Doc Martins and his dad bought him that leather jacket when he was sixteen and he wears it constantly now because he finally fits into it. </p><p>He doesn't tell her that he likes watching her fix her lipstick, but she figures it out on her own a few days later. </p><p>"Maybe you should just stay," He's spread out on his bed, head hanging over the edge as he watches her through the bathroom door, "This club's supposed to be really bad, anyway."</p><p>"The girls want to go," She calls back, leaning further over the sink to get a better look in the mirror. She can just about spot him in the corner of the mirror, eyes trained on the lipstick tube in her hands as she tries not to mess it up. </p><p>Edoardo has a habit of seeing how messy he can get it, always pulling away from a particularly mind-numbing kiss just to grin at the mess he's made before surging back towards her, and Ele can practically hear the gears turning in his head as she caps the lipstick and turns to face him.</p><p>"No," She says before he can talk, "I have to meet the girls in ten minutes and I do not have enough time to fix it <em>again.</em>"</p><p>He grins at her, still a hint of her smudged lipstick on his bottom lip, but he keeps his distance as he rolls off the bed and retrieves his car keys. </p><p>"One more-"</p><p>"<em>No, </em>Edo-" He cuts her off, ducking his mouth down to hers with a hand on the back of her head, and she doesn't really fit it when he gives her a succession of three quick presses of their mouths before he pulls away.</p><p>"You look cute," He smirks at her, shooing her out the car when she blushes, "See you there!"</p><p>Eva's waiting for her just outside of Silvia's apartment block, leaning up against a bike shed and tapping away at her phone, but she looks up at her suspiciously and keeps her at arm's length when Ele goes in for a hug, "You've smudged your lipstick," She says with a frown, "What were you doing?"</p><p>And <em>damn him</em>, she curses, because if it's one thing Ele's consistent with is making sure her lipstick is always perfect. Eva spins her phone around for her, front camera open to show Ele the deep purple smudged at the corner of her mouth.</p><p>"Eating," She says, lacking all kinds of elegance because she knows why Edo was smirking at her before she left now, "I didn't have time for lunch today."</p><p>Eva drops it, thankfully, and helps Ele reapply before they get buzzed in by Silvia. </p><p>She makes eye contact with Edo two hours later, close enough on the dance floor that she can hear his laugh when Fede stumbles, but not too close to touch him. She tries to fix him with the best glare she can, but he just grins and winks playfully at her as they dance with their friends. </p><p>She winks back at him, her thumb coming up to wipe at the corner of her mouth and then jerking her head towards him. There's a faint smudge of people on his mouth that she can make out when the lights flash gold every few seconds, and he smirks at her again when he wipes it off with his thumb.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Would roses bloom?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Could roses bloom?</em>
</p><p>She can't remember any of it, which is terrifying because it means she doesn't <em>know</em> what happened - and she can't tell Edoardo that, not when she can't say she <em>knows </em>she <em>didn't </em>sleep with his brother. Which means she can't tell anyone, because secrets get spilt all the time, even without meaning to and hearing it from someone else will definitely sound ten times worse than whatever Ele tells him. </p><p>So she just locks herself up in her room instead. Filo's already seen her breakdown, has already gone into Protective Mode and let her cry about it, let her wallow and shut herself away; and she knows it's probably scaring him because the last time she was like this she ended up in the hospital, ended up with a spider tattoo and a new reputation at school, a new phone number. </p><p>And she gets it now. Why Edo wanted to keep his brother separate from her. And she was right when she said Edoardo could cause more pain than the last boy because she knows how he's going to react when she eventually tells him and it already hurts. </p><p>Eleonora's never felt pain in advance, but she doubts it's going to prepare her. </p><p>And Edoardo <em>still </em>confuses her. </p><p>She's ignored his texts and his calls, ignored Fede's too, and Nicco's and all of his friends, all of her friends, and skipped school yesterday when she found trying to hide from everyone was more difficult than she thought it would be. She's shut herself away from everyone without an explanation, and she knows that if she was one of her friends if this was happening to her, she'd be hurt and angry and probably wouldn't want anything to do with her. </p><p>But Edoardo's here, cradling her hip and the back of her head as she cries unevenly into his shirt, humming a soothing tune under his breath and slowly pushing her down to lay on the bed. He still smells like vanilla and wood and something utterly him, but he's changed his shampoo and it smells faintly of pears now, too. The back of his neck feels just as soft as his cardigan where she's gripping onto both, but his cologne's stronger on his skin and she buries her nose into the dip of his collar in a desperate bid to get closer. </p><p>He feels safe. She hadn't been able to kiss him a few days ago, in the corridor, but she lets him pepper feather-soft kisses to her forehead and cheek, lets him spread his palm across the expanse of her back and tangle their legs together. </p><p>"Breathe," He's whispering, still stroking her scalp with his fingernails in that way she's always found relaxing, and he's mixing in a few "Nothing's happened," between them but it just makes her chin wobble more because something <em>did </em>happen. </p><p>Ele thinks back to the classroom, to Edo opening up about his brother reaching out to a girl he was seeing a while back, and something dark and twisted takes hold of her throat and refuses to let go.</p><p>"Eleonora," He whispers, firm but cautious, "Breathe. Focus on me."</p><p>He confuses her. Because he's supposed to be mad at her. He's got a right to be angry she cut him off <em>again. </em>He's supposed to demand answers, fight with her, make her start shouting back, but he's all soft words and careful touches, and she doesn't <em>deserve </em>it. Not after she stayed at that party when Andrea said he wasn't there. Edoardo didn't trust his brother for a reason, didn't want her around him, and she should have respected that. She should have turned around and left, shouldn't have taken that drink or believe whatever he said. And the pathetic is she can't even remember <em>what </em>he'd told her, which makes it all worse. Edoardo's supposed to question her about her sudden behaviour change, why she flinches when he touches her, and her breaking down isn't supposed to magically make that all go away. He shouldn't be the one fixing her, and yet he's not appearing to know any of this. </p><p>"Breathe," He murmurs, dusting his fingertips over her jaw and her eyelids flutter as she focuses on the beat of his heart under his tee-shirt.</p><p>He confuses her. Because she's not used to this. She's never had something that does this before, especially not in this situation, not even her parents and it's so nerve-wracking how desperately she never wants him to move away. His fingertips are a little rough, she can feel a paper cut on his index finger as he follows the curve of her jaw from her chin to her ear, but the motion's they make are so gentle it doesn't even matter. She swallows around the lump in her throat and his finger follows the movement too, curls back up to thumb away a tear stuck to her eyelashes before he starts carding his fingers through her baby hairs to push them off of her forehead. </p><p>"Everything's okay," He brings the blankets over both of their heads, cutting off the minimal light peeking through her shades. </p><p>He confuses her more than anything else in the world. She doesn't want to fall asleep, knows that she might freak out again when she wakes up, knows she has too much on her plate right now and if she falls asleep nothing's going to get done, but Edoardo's insistent and she feels her eyelids grow heavier as he strokes her cheek and presses a lingering kiss to her shoulder. </p><p>When she wakes up she can hear cars, which is such a stupid thing to tune into first, but everything's so bright suddenly and she's hyperaware of the fact that her room hasn't been this clean in a week and that Edoardo's kissing her clothed shoulder as he waits for her to say something. He's cleaned her room, and watered her plants - left Filo's note on the lip of the plant jar, just like Ele's been doing all week - and when she points this out he just nods and twists a strand of her hair around his ring finger. </p><p>He's written her radio episode for her - this beautifully written piece about families, and the entire time she's reciting the words into the microphone she's hearing him laugh and agree with her ("<em>families are stupid" - "families are so</em> <em>stupid</em>")and she has to throw the microphone away from her before the sobs wreck the recording. After a minute, the girls join her in the booth, and it's Silvia that gets to her first which is just all kinds of ironic. Silvia's drawn a rose on her the tip of her converse, and it's all Ele can pay attention to as Eva takes her hand and they march towards the guidance counsellor. </p><p>There's a hoard of white roses across the road, and when Edoardo walks away without a word it's all she can look at without wanting to burst into tears because white roses mean innocence and innocence is just bullshit at this point.</p><p>Silvia draws that same rose from her shoe on a scrap piece of paper for her a few days later, and Filo copied it in the space between two legs of the spider on her arm in blue pen. It's awkwardly drawn and the blue stands stark against the black, but she loves it anyway.</p><p>Edoardo finds it, when Fede's driving the car back to Edo's house, Edo's bag tucked between Ele's feet as she tries to keep up with the rapid conversations the boys are having. Fede makes eye contact with her in the rearview mirror, and he gives her a small, grateful smile. Edoardo's lips are suddenly against her cheekbone, the stubble on his chin scratching at her jaw, but she sinks sideways into him - there's still a part of her that feels like he hasn't come back, that she's really out on that driveway crying into Filo's shoulder.</p><p>That feeling still lasts even when Edo sits her in his car as he runs back into the house to grab some clothes. He drives them out of the city and half an hour down the road until they're parked a few metres away from the beach. They don't get out of the car, but Ele adjusts the passenger seat so she can lean back but still see the ocean and she shuffles closer to the door so Edo can join her. </p><p>It's a little awkward at the beginning, and the seat's too small for both of them to fit, but he slides to his stomach and wraps an arm around her waist, ducks his mouth to the fabric covering her shoulder and she feels his deep exhale as she starts playing with his curls.</p><p>"You're not even pretending to look at the beach," Ele says, quietly because it's the first time they're actually talking since he kissed her through the tears at the greenhouses and she's not quite sure what direction they're taking.</p><p>"I know," He whispers back, reaching up to sweep her hair out of his way as he nestles his nose into the curve where her neck meets her shoulder, "I'm not really in the beach mood. I just- I don't want to go back to that house and... I didn't know where else to go."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Ele says after a beat, pressing it into the soft curls at the top of his head, "I should have told you sooner."</p><p>"I'm sorry I walked away."</p><p>She shakes her head because if she doesn't she'll cry, but he kisses her neck quickly and whispers that she can cry if she wants and after that, she just can't help it. He crawls to hover over her, using his hands to smooth her hair away from her face, and she manages to smile through the tears as he presses a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. </p><p>"You should get this tattooed," He says, reaching down to rub his thumb over the roughly-drawn rose, "It's cute."</p><p>She thinks she should tell him why she asked Silvia to draw one for her, but he smiles down at her as he wipes her tears away and thinks it's better off not. She probably will get it tattooed, at some point, and then, possibly, she'll him what it's all about.</p><p>"I take it back," She says, finding the tiny ringlet of curls that sits right at the back of his head, the only one that won't sit upright like the rest of them.</p><p>"Mhm?" He tilts his head a little, finds her hand and tangles their fingers together by her hip, "Take what back?"</p><p>"Families aren't stupid," He smiles at her, all teeth, as the words leave. It feels all jumbled, the way she's said it, quick like she's afraid she'd chicken out, but she manages to calm herself down to make the others sound like she means it, because she's never meant anything more, "Not this one."</p><hr/><p>
  <em>And all of these clouds</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Crying us back to life</em>
</p><p>"I got you something."</p><p>Edo lifts his head from the pillow briefly, eyes squinted in her direction and he mutters a string of sounds that don't make any sense, but he does flip over onto his back and reach out for her with one hand. </p><p>"My birthday's in two weeks?" He catches her hip when she gets close enough and pulls her into him, grunting when her knee catches his thigh.</p><p>Ele sits upon his hips and sets the box on his chest, watching the way his eyebrows furrow together for a split second, "I know," She shrugs, "But I saw this and know you like it."</p><p>He's always getting her gifts, even when she's not done anything to deserve them. Last week he'd brought her a pair of earrings that she'd seen on Instagram, and the week before that he'd cashed out on sour candies from the corner shop when she was moaning about cramps. Edo's always showering her with affection, and some of that takes the form of physical things he can hand over to her and watch her reaction. Ele would love to the same, except she overthinks every gift idea she has for quite literally everyone she knows, but this time she'd not hesitated for a second.</p><p>The girl at the store had wrapped it in white tissue paper and secured it with a pink bow, which Edo flicks the edges of as he sits up against the headboard and drags her closer. He's not careful with the paper, and tosses it off the bed without even looking to see where it lands - in his shoe - but he drops the present without even looking at it so he can tie the ribbon around Ele's wrist. </p><p>"Look," She shakes his hands off of her and bites her lip around a grin when he looks at her.</p><p>"You got me cologne?" He sounds a little awed, but then he turns the bottle over and smiles even wider, "You got me <em>my </em>cologne."</p><p>"I found it!" She feels stupidly proud of herself, which is kind of sad but he gives her such a dazzling smile she doesn't even care, "I remember you said that you couldn't find it a while ago and I was out with Eva today and I just saw it. Thought you might like it."</p><p>There's something in his eyes that she can't quite read, which confuses her because she's <em>so </em>good at reading Edo recently, but he smiles and she can read that easily, "Thank you, beautiful," He whispers, leaning up to kiss her mouth firmly before pulling the cap off the bottle and spritzing some onto his wrist and neck. He spritzes her, too, and laughs when it gets in her mouth and she sticks her tongue out.</p><p>"Come here," He sighs, fishing the TV remote out of the mass of sheets around them. Ele happily slips off his lap to lay between his thighs and rest her head against his shoulder, watching as he flicks through Netflix until he finds the series they're watching together. </p><p>"Do I still confuse you," He murmurs, and she notices the way his shoulders slacken when she sinks backwards into him, feels his hands spread out across her stomach and flirt with the rip at the boxer shorts he gave her to sleep in.</p><p>"Yes," She whispers. She starts fiddling with a loose thread at the sleeve of his shirt, twirling it between her thumb and index finger and watching it unravel when she loosens her hold, "You're always going to confuse me."</p><p>"You confuse me, too," He says, not for the first time, and presses a kiss to her forehead before shifting to get more comfortable, "Guess you're stuck with me until I figure you out, then."</p><p>Ele smiles, refusing to take her eyes off the TV when she feels her cheeks warm up. She nestles further back into him and slides her hand over the back of his at her stomach, "I guess you do."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's late and this draft expires in two hours. i think i've edited it all through but uni's honestly turned my brain to mush and i just want to publish it... enjoy. i'll edit it (again) in the morning.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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